Sunday, September 03, 2006

urgh. i hate chinese. i mean like, i m even more annoyed that i cant understand stuff and thru 16 years of education never got my foundation in the subject right, furthermore, my english isnt that fantastic. feel like such a failure with the languages.

oh well. can hear my dad dropping his keys before he enters the house in like 2 secs time, u know its just so characteristic of my parents, when u hear that "chinging" of the keys, u sort of can more or less guess hus opening the house door.

anyway. just this resentment cus everyone seems to be going somewhere and i m not. urgh. its like this whole issue made everyone stronger, somehow it made me weaker, sorry la, i know its not supposed to be the case but den again, i also dunno how to solve it. urgh. stupid. den people becoming OM, people getting places with their BS, ministry, i m like here, cant even manage my studies and council work. this is shiat man. i feel so shiatty.

den council work. makes my blood boil. but shall be diplomatic and not bitch here, cus once i start i wont stop. just one fact about me, i dun like to engage in arguements where people imply, i did this this and this, and wad i did is more den u, cus u seem to be doing nothing. thus i m more hardworking den u. ur a slacker. dat sort of thing. i believe in doing a good job, doing it discreetly. sorry thats just me.

i cant stand the week ahead la. at first tot can slowly do my work and revision at home. end up 4/5 days must go back to school. urgh urgh urgh.

i know i m ranting. oh wells. need to deal with it somehow. its almost like this never ending valley, its just about the deep it goes and its not really bout getting out or not. how infuriating.

and my spiritual walk is like rock bottom, pushed my bum to service this morning but found little satisfaction. oh wells. i need a pastoral someone to talk to. someone hu understands or at least seems like he or she understands. someone who i cant fall in love with...

|cowpoo| 5:37 PM|

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